What's the impact of open palm gestures?

Last Thursday I went to a friend-of-a-friend’s board-game night. I showed up clutching a packet of tortilla chips like it was riot gear. Halfway through “Catan” I realised my hands were glued to the table edge, fingers curled, palms hidden. Eye contact was glitchy, small talk even worse. Then, without thinking, I flipped my hands over - palms up, wrists loose. It felt weirdly naked. In under a minute the vibe at the table shifted: people leaned in, jokes landed, I actually won some sheep. I walked home wondering, “Did my thumbs just hack my social life?”

why palms matter more than we think

Our brains are ancient drama queens. Long before language, open palms signaled “I’m not holding a rock, you’re safe.” Even today, mirror-neuron circuits light up when we spot bare palms; heart rate drops, trust ticks upward. A 2019 study from the University of Hertfordshire found that speakers who showed open palms were rated 40 % more honest than those who kept their hands hidden. No fancy rhetoric, just some exposed skin.

If you deal with social anxiety, this is sneaky good news. You don’t have to master witty banter in milliseconds. You can literally keep your hands where people can see them and let evolution pick up some of the slack.

using open palms to feel safer in conversations

Anxiety loves closed loops: crossed arms, pockets, phone scrolling - all classic “leave me alone” signals. Opening your palms cracks that loop. It sends a double message: to others (“I’m approachable”) and to your own nervous system (“we’re not in danger”). The body tells the brain; the brain chills out a notch. It’s low-key magic.

Here’s an easy drill:

1. Sit somewhere comfy, rest hands on thighs, palms up.

2. Inhale for four counts, exhale for six.

3. Notice if your shoulders drop on their own. That’s a parasympathetic win.

Do this for one minute before stepping into a meeting, date, or group chat. You prime the body to act open before words even start forming.

tiny experiments you can run this week

Monday - grocery line

Hold your phone with one hand, let the other hang loose, palm out. See if the cashier’s greeting feels warmer.

Wednesday - video call

Angle your webcam so your hands are visible when you talk. Wave once in hello, then rest palms lightly on the desk. Gauge how often people nod along compared to your usual calls.

Friday - coffee with a friend

Place both hands around the mug, but keep the fingers relaxed so the inside of at least one palm still shows. Track how comfortable you feel sharing something personal.

Treat these like mini side quests, not performance tests. Log the micro-wins: a smile, a follow-up question, a little less heartbeat drumming in your ears.

common palm mistakes and easy fixes

• The zombie: arms locked straight out, palms glaring. Looks staged. Bend the elbows, keep movements small.

• The magician: palms visible, but you’re fidget-spinning a pen like it’s the final trick. The object steals focus. Park the pen.
• The peek-a-boo: showing palms only when you talk, hiding them while listening. Consistency matters; leave them open even in silence.

  If you slip, no big deal. Reset by unclenching your fingers and rotating your wrists a few degrees outward. Tiny motion, huge reset.

  wrapping it up

  Open palm gestures won’t erase social anxiety, but they hand you (pun fully intended) a quick, body-level way to dial down the static. You’re giving people a subconscious “all clear” and gifting yourself a small hit of calm at the same time. Keep running the tiny experiments. Stack the wins. Next round of “Catan” or big work presentation, let your palms do some of the talking - and see who trades you their sheep.