Is it possible to enjoy networking events?

I’m outside a slick co-working space in Shoreditch, staring at a name badge that still smells like printer ink. The event host waves me in. My knees don’t move. Twenty minutes earlier I’d promised myself I’d “work the room.” Right now I’d settle for “step over the threshold.”

That’s the moment I asked a question you might be asking, too: can this ever be fun?

Spoiler: yes. Not fireworks-level fun, but the low-key buzz you get after nailing a tricky gym set. Let’s break down how.

why most mixers feel like root canals

Three things gang up on anxious brains at networking events:

1. Unclear rules. Is small talk OK? Do we pitch? Nobody knows.

2. Crowds. Lots of faces to scan, lots of noise to decode.

3. The performance trap. We think everyone’s judging our job title, shoes, handshake grip.

Knowing the enemies helps you build defenses. So let’s build.

calibrate your expectations

Forget “collect ten business cards.” Aim smaller. One real chat beats ten awkward sprints.

Try this mini-goal menu:

• Say hi to the host. (They’re paid to be friendly - easy win.)
• Ask two people what project excites them this month.
• Trade contact info with one person you’d actually message next week.

  That’s it. Clear scorecard, quick dopamine when you tick boxes, no shame if you bounce after.

  small experiments that make the night lighter

  1. Arrive absurdly early

Empty rooms feel spooky on screen, but in real life they’re quiet and calm. You meet the organizers, snag a corner seat, watch others trickle in. By the time the room is loud, you already know three names.

2. Wear or hold a conversation starter

A retro lapel pin, a paperback, even a weird-flavored soda. People comment; ice cracks. You don’t need charm, you need hooks.

3. Outsource the introduction

Bring a colleague who can brag for you. Volunteer at the registration desk for 30 minutes and every attendee suddenly learns your name. Social capital on easy mode.

4. Steal the journalist toolkit

• “What’s keeping you busy lately?”

• “How did you get into that?”

• “What’s the part people misunderstand?”

Open questions shift spotlight away from you. Listeners are remembered as brilliant conversationalists - go figure.

5. Use the bathroom buffer

When heart rate spikes, wander off under the fluorescent sanctuary, breathe for 90 seconds, text a friend a goofy selfie, walk back in. Micro-reset beats Irish-exiting early and feeling annoyed with yourself all night.

a quick recovery plan (because post-event anxiety is real)

1. Decompress on paper

On the ride home, jot two wins and one lesson. Keeps your brain from spinning “I was so awkward” loops.

2. Follow up within 48 hours

DM the one person you vibed with: “Great chat about indie games - sending that podcast link.” Tiny gesture locks the connection and tells your inner critic the night had purpose.

3. Treat yourself to something silly

Fries, a meme binge, half an episode of trash TV. Reward reinforces that facing the fear ends in something pleasant.

wrapping up

Networking events won’t morph into Ibiza, but they can shift from dread to “surprisingly okay” with a few tweaks. Start stupid-small: go early, set two questions, give yourself an exit strategy. Each time you survive, the next RSVP feels lighter.

Next time you’re outside a venue clutching a badge, remember me on that Shoreditch sidewalk. I walked in. I met a data-viz designer who later became a collaborator. The badge is now in a drawer, smelling less like ink and more like proof: it’s possible.