How do i stop feeling like i'm always being watched?

a quick moment in aisle six

Last Friday night I’m in the supermarket, shuffling toward the freezer, when it hits me: every shopper, every security camera, even the automatic doors are staring at the back of my neck. Rationally I know that’s nonsense. Emotionally my heart is about to punch through my hoodie. I throw a random pizza in the cart and bail.

If you’ve done a similar panic-shuffle - lecture hall, bus stop, Zoom call - you’re in good company. Feeling watched is one of the most common ways social anxiety shows up. The goal today: shrink that feeling from full-screen horror to a tiny notification you can swipe away.

why your brain keeps yelling “someone’s looking”

Our brains are ancient drama queens. Back when sabre-tooth cats stalked our tribe, “better safe than sorry” kept us alive. Fast-forward to 2024: the “danger” is a coworker glancing up from Slack, but the alarm system hasn’t updated its software.

Add two ingredients and the stew gets spicy:

1. High sensitivity to rejection (hello, social anxiety).

2. Endless modern mirrors - CCTV, Instagram stories, glass office walls.

Neurons fire, cortisol floods, and your body acts like you’re on stage at Madison Square Garden. Knowing the wiring is buggy doesn’t fix everything, but it stops the self-blame spiral. You’re not weak; you’re running outdated firmware.

check your receipts: is anyone actually watching?

Quick reality audit. Pick a chill day - coffee shop, park bench, wherever you usually tense up.

• Notice how many people you can see right now.

• Clock how many seconds any one person looks your way.
• Mark down each stare on your phone’s notes app. (Yes, you’ll feel silly; that’s the point.)

  Most folks discover the number is tiny. People are buried in phones, playlists, or their own awkward thoughts. Evidence beats assumption. Gather enough receipts and the “everyone’s judging me” story loses fans.

  train your attention like a puppy

  Attention wanders, chews furniture, and pees on your peace of mind. Good news: with short sessions, it learns.

  1. 5-4-3-2-1 grounding.

• 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste (even if it’s just coffee breath).

• Every sense you count drags focus out of “people’s eyes” and into the real world.

2. Box breathing.

• Breathe in 4, hold 4, out 4, hold 4. Do four rounds.

• Gives your nervous system a post-panic timeout.

3. Micro-exposures.

• Stand in a mild trigger spot - store queue, campus quad - for two minutes.

• Keep doing it until the scare curve flattens. Then level up: five minutes, busier hour, etc.

• Reward yourself after each win (meme scroll, candy bar, whatever feels 10/10).

Stick with it a few weeks and your “every gaze is a laser” reflex starts acting more chill, like a puppy that finally sits on command.

quick hacks for public spaces

• Headphones, no music. Wear them like social armor; nobody knows the playlist is silent.

• Friend decoy. Text a buddy while you walk. Real-time messages create a bubble of familiarity.
• Posture flip. Instead of shrinking, roll shoulders back and look forward. Oddly, bigger body language tells your brain you’re safe.
• Stock phrases. Someone’s genuinely staring? “Hey, what’s up?” delivered calmly usually sends them scrolling again.

  None of these are magic on their own, but they stack. Tiny 5% reliefs can snowball into a 50% lighter day.

  when to bring in backup

  If you’re skipping classes, ghosting friends, or can’t ride the subway because the eyes feel too loud, it’s time for pro help. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has the best data. Some people mix in meds short-term; others join social-anxiety groups so the homework feels less lonely. There’s zero shame in any combo. Think of it like hiring a personal trainer for your mind.

  wrapping the cart around

  Back to the supermarket: I still shop there. I still notice cameras. But now I pause, count how many shoppers even clock me (usually none), breathe once, and grab the pizza I actually want. The alarm lights still flicker, they just don’t set off the sprinklers anymore.

  You deserve that same calm checkout line - eyes on your own grocery list, mind on your own life. Keep gathering evidence, training the puppy, stacking hacks, and calling in backup when needed. The world isn’t a giant spotlight; it’s just a bunch of people trying to grab dinner before the ice cream melts.