How do i make phone calls without panicking?

I’m 27, sitting in my kitchen, watching my phone buzz like it’s a live grenade. It’s my bank. Probably just “confirming unusual activity,” but the pit in my stomach says, “They’re gonna roast you for overdrafting that one time in 2016.”

I let it ring out, then hate-myself for the next hour. Sound familiar - actually no, let’s skip the clichés. You’re here because letting calls go to voicemail feels bad, yet picking up feels worse. Let’s untangle that and get you dialing without the cold sweat.

why phone calls freak us out

• Zero facial cues. Text gives us emojis, video gives us faces. A plain voice float­ing in the ether? The brain screams “ambush!”

• No edit button. Once words leave your mouth, they can’t be backspaced. That’s brutal for anyone who likes to plan every syllable.
• Clock is ticking. Silence on a call feels way longer than silence in a chat. That imaginary countdown jacks up adrenaline.

Good news: we can hack every single one of those triggers.

prep that actually works

1. Shrink the mission. You are not solving world hunger; you are asking for Tuesday at 3 PM or telling Gran you love her. Write one sentence that sums up the call. Keep it in front of you.

2. Draft a loose spine, not a screenplay. Bullet points, max six words each. Too much script and you’ll sound like a glitching robot the moment the convo goes off-road.

3. Set the stage. Quiet room, comfy chair, maybe a fidget cube. AirPods in so your hands stay free. Tiny things, big calm.

4. Two-breath rule. Before you hit “call,” inhale four counts, hold two, exhale six. Do it twice. Heart rate drops, voice steadies. Wild how well this works.

5. Give your brain a safety exit. “Hey, if now’s a bad time, I can ring back later.” Knowing you can bail lowers panic, even if you never use the line.

during the call: hacks in real time

Talk slower than feels normal; phones compress audio, so chill pacing actually sounds confident. Keep water nearby - sipping buys time.

If your mind blanks, own it: “Let me check my notes for a sec.” People respect honesty more than ums and uhs.

Standing helps too; bodies like motion. I wander my hallway, headset on, because sitting still makes me stiff and squeaky.

Need to stall? Ask a question. “How’s your week going?” gives you ten seconds to regroup while they ramble. Works on customer service reps and Aunt Lisa alike.

after the call: cool down and level up

Hang up, exhale big, and note one thing that went fine. Just one. Our brains catalogue mistakes; you have to manually log wins.

If something felt clunky, jot it, tweak the bullet list, move on. That tiny debrief turns every call into XP.

And yeah, celebrate. I throw both hands up like I just nailed a karaoke solo. It looks dumb; it anchors success.

final thoughts

Phone fear isn’t a moral failing; it’s a tech-era side effect we never got a patch for. But muscle memory is real. Thirty seconds of prep, a couple breathing loops, and a quick victory dance - stack those and the old panic loses grip.

Next time your screen lights up, maybe you won’t ghost it. Maybe you’ll even be the one who hits “call.”

Small flex? Sure. But flexes add up. One day the phone rings and, weirdly, you’re already smiling.